Writing a novel is like a juggling act and not the easy kind with squishy-soft balls—no. Authors are trying to keep a broad sword, piccolo, chain saw and feather in the air all at the same time. When the action kicks up all those objects can come crashing down turning what should be one of the most exciting scenes in the book into a snooze.
To keep your story moving and your readers turning pages, your action scene must come to life in 3-D. In other words, the scene must be Deep, Descriptive and Dynamic.
Deep:
Emotional depth will create empathy in your reader. If she can’t feel the character’s pain, joy, anxiety, fear or desire she will skim, skip the scene or put the book down. To avoid losing your reader, go into the scene with a plan. Decide what is driving the POV character in this scene. Running for his life? That one’s easy. What about a love scene? Is there something beyond lust going on? What’s your conflict? Maybe he is thinking love and she is thinking pure lust and a one night stand. Next, turn that conflict into visceral responses. Think about the emotions that your characters will go through, then make sure those emotions come across on the page. The advice to show rather tell goes double (or maybe to the 10th power) in an action scene. If the heroine is being shot at, she’s not going to stop and contemplate much of anything. Internal monologue should be minimal. Instead focus on a racing heartbeat, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, grinding teeth, clenching fist and the list goes on.
Watch out for telling—especially when it is inconsistent with the physical responses. “George had never been so scared in his life, he thought as he smoothed mustard over rye bread in the perfect proportions to compliment the thick sliced ham he’d purchased at the deli yesterday.” Okay—that’s a silly example, but you get the idea. What the character does and the physical responses portrayed must match the emotion of the moment. If he’s that scared he is unlikely to be spreading mustard. Assuming there is some compelling reason he must be making a ham on rye at this moment, he’s more likely to skip the mustard or slop it on. It’s very unlikely he will be thinking about the perfect mustard to ham ratio. Similarly, if the heroine is sitting in a dark closet with the bad guy moving through the house, she is probably not going to yawn. Instead, she may swallow hard or squeeze into a tight ball to try to prevent her shaking limbs from rattling the floorboards and giving her away.
As you’re thinking about the emotions and responses to emotions, always consider the characters involved. It is possible for an adrenalin rush to cause a character to do something unusual. A small timid woman may fight back with more strength than she knew she had. A non-violent guy may use force to rescue someone he cares about. But even these moments need to relate back to the character the reader has come to know.
We’re inside the head of the POV character and we know she’s got that feeling in the pit of her stomach like she swallowed a barbell. But how do we know what the other characters in the scene are feeling? Don’t worry, you still have plenty of tricks up your sleeve–facial expressions, dialog, grunts, yelps and other utterances. Showing, not telling the emotions of all the characters in the scene will create an emotional response in the reader as well. The more she cares, the harder it is for her to put that book down.
Descriptive:
Setting the Scene—Describing the setting is important in every scene, but it is crucial in an action scene. It’s distracting when a handy boulder appears just in time for the heroine to duck behind it when the shooting starts. The reader needs to have a pretty clear picture of the setting and where the characters are in space and in relation to each other. If you can’t picture it, the reader probably won’t either. Try drawing a picture or diagram that shows at least the basic setting. If you’re in a parking garage, how do the cars line up. On the beach? Is it sandy or rocky? Is there a dock or other man made structure? Watch out for continuity errors that crop up when you change the setting in one part of the scene and don’t make the change consistent throughout.
Showing the action. This means describing the physical movements so clearly the reader will have a movie playing in her head. If our hero suddenly develops a third arm you’re going to lose the reader. Watch carefully to make sure the character’s movements—sitting standing, running up stairs or climbing through a window follow a logical progression. If he’s on top, then she’s on top is there some movement to account for the change? If he ran up the stairs and ended up in the basement there’s a problem.
Dynamic:
Use diction and sentence structure to set a pace. Word choices are critical here. Use vivid, precise and active verbs. Short sentences and even short words help portray quick action. A long smooth sentence can portray languid, sensual movements.
Use the five senses. Books have an advantage over movies in that we can bring the reader right into the story by using the five sentences. A viewer may be stuck in a theater seat watching a movie. A reader can actually feel the wind in her hair as she gallops on a spirited steed alongside the hero.
Apply these 3-Ds to your action scene and it will pop off the page, alive and breathing.
Teresa Bodwell is the author of Western historical romances featuring a wide variety of action scenes from fist fights to gunfights and sensual love scenes. She is one of the founders of Unleash Your Story, a fun event that brings readers and writers together to raise money and awareness for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Visit Teresa’s website at http://tbodwell.com. To learn more about the Unleash Your Story event visit http://unleashyourstory.com.
Love this. The three D’s. That’s something I can remember and use. I’ve been using this both in my own work and in critiquing a lot. Thank you!