Listening to the radio the other day Bonnie Tyler was singing about a romantic relationship but one line snaked out of the speakers and wrapped around my throat.
“I’m just another writer still trapped within my truth.”
Characters live in my head, as with all of us I’m sure, and often they nag at me to let them really speak their minds. But I’m afraid to let them. This is related to why I subconsciously avoid substantive conflict in my writing – I like my characters too much to let bad things happen to them.
I know, I know! Conflict is necessary for a good story. But the truth? How much truth do we really want in fiction? And whose truth? My own, or my characters? And do you really want to know the whole truth and nothing but?
Over the course of my life, relationships have often surprised me. I can vividly remember shopping with my best friend while we were both still in high school. My friend tried on a floppy straw hat and turned to me and asked, “Do you like this hat?”
Simple question, right? Nope.
I don’t wear hats. They flatten my too-thin hair and give me hat hair which never bounces back until I wash and style it again.
“I don’t like hats, but that one looks good on you,” I innocently, and truthfully, answered.
She sighed and replaced the hat on the body-less head and started to walk away.
“Wait,” I said, catching up to her, “I thought you liked that hat. What’s wrong? It looked good on you.”
She shrugged and shook her head. “Yeah, but you didn’t like it.”
Huh?
It wasn’t until decades later I asked her about that, while we shared a bottle of wine at a ski resort in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. (We were après skiing, mind you. Skiing and I have met and shook hands, but we’re NOT friends.) That’s when I learned that when she asked me a question like that, she didn’t want the truth. No, she wanted me to tell her what she wanted to hear.
And how do I know what that is? I wondered, but wisely kept mum.
Other times I’ve felt moved to express my true opinion and the listener was either offended or hurt or – heck, I don’t know what. I’m guessing here. Mainly because they didn’t talk to me for a long while afterwards. Was that because of what I said or some other outside influence? I dunno.
So I guess I’ve fallen into the don’t-tell-the-truth trap and it won’t let me out. It stifles my writing in some ways. Hinders the passion, especially when I’m writing what should be a “hot” scene – I wonder how it will be received by the readers, by my friends, by my family. The result is that the true story isn’t told, it’s nodded at and discussed behind my hand rather than being told boldly and sincerely.
I have long envied the power and emotion evoked from many bestselling authors and I know in my heart of hearts that I can write that way, that I feel that way, envision the scenes that way in my head. If only I could do so without fearing the consequences.
So, as 2010 begins, one goal for my writing is to break free from this trap, to indulge in more truthful depiction of the scenes in my head so that my characters are also freed from my reluctance to write the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
That’s not a “resolution” but a “permission,” if you will. Only time will tell whether this approach will gain me fans or cause them to run away. Of course, I’m hoping that they’ll pull up a chair by a cozy fire and sip a glass of wine as we journey together through the adventure.
Have you given yourself any permissions with your writing? What other types of “traps” have you encountered?
Betty Bolté
Great blog, Betty! I think writing how we know it is, rather than how we think people want it to be, is one of the hardest things we do as writers. It comes down to us not being able to please everyone, so we might as well please ourselves.
I’ve come to embrace the truth, only recently realizing just how many lies I have told myself. Live in truth is now my motto, and it should be no less true for my characters than me.
What is that other old saying? Something about the truth will set you free? Set those characters free! Good luck!
I haven’t thought about this before, and now I think I’m going to angst about it for a while because, like you, I like me people too well for them to suffer. Even my villains have (for me) redeeming features and I want a HEA for them.
Great blog!
“How to torture your characters without guilt” might be a fun topic of discussion on loop. I also worried what the neighbors (etc…) would think of parts of my book–content, word choices and more. Maybe the answer to both is that you just have to write what the story needs, and not worry about anything else. Easy to say, I know.
Thanks for the post, Betty!